Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think your dad took our porno
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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