The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
