Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
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