Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
