My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
