If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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