is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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