he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
