living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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