Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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