Yo dont text me then not text me
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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