Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
