Sry I called you an 8
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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