just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We had sex on a dog bed..
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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