theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Randomize
