Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
