He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
