the condom got lost in my hair
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize