Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
