i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
