i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
