nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
tell me about the eggs
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