Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
