Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
