her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
