ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
