new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
