New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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