There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
