Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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