you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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