Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The adults are the big ones right?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
