i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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