the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
