oh god the rape fog is back!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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