yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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