You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
