I am puke
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
