She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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