i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
