She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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