i permit you to call me
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
