so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
