i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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