come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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