My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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