My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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