I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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