Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
