when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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