so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You took a bar mat shot.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
