next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
