it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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