Christians are straight up FREAKS
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize