So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
