i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
