she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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