I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
