ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
