I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
