I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
