I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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