Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
