what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
