I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
