He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
