I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My pussy is not your playground.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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