Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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